There is a silent habit many people practice every day, even without knowing it.
You scroll through social media and see someone smiling in front of a new car.
You watch a musician stepping on stage and the crowd is cheering.
You listen to a successful business owner tell their story.
Suddenly, a small whisper comes: “I wish I had their life… I wish I was like them.”
This desire looks innocent on the surface. We call it admiration. We tell ourselves it is healthy.
But there is a thin line between admiring someone and abandoning yourself.
This is the dangerous path the trap of wanting to live inside another person’s skin.
Many people have walked this road, and many got lost along the way.
The Silent Disease of Comparison
One woman once said something powerful:
“I wanted to be like everyone I admired until I forgot who I was.”
She followed the way others dressed, spoke, prayed, and lived, because she felt her life was not enough.
She copied their steps but never found peace.
Her story is common.
A young man sees another young man buy a car. He suddenly feels inferior.
A student sees someone graduate with first class and starts believing they are a failure.
A girl sees another girl’s relationship online and begins to hate her own life.
Comparison has poisoned more hearts than failure ever will.
The truth is comparison steals joy quietly.
You don’t notice when it starts, but it slowly eats your confidence, focus, and identity.
We Only See the Finished Stage, Never the Hidden Story
One reason people idolize the lives of others is because they only see the results.
You see someone: – building a big house
– travelling abroad
– preaching in a mega church
– performing on stage
– spending freely
– speaking confidently
But you do not see: – the tears that came before the breakthrough
– the prayers that went unanswered
– the debts they hid
– the rejection they endured
– the depression they fought
– the failures they never posted
A man once said, “Don’t admire my glory if you don’t know my story.”
Many people want the fruits others harvested without wanting the hardship that planted them.
You admire someone’s courage, but you don’t know how many times they nearly gave up.
You admire someone’s confidence, but you don’t know how long they struggled with fear.
You admire someone’s success, but you don’t know how many nights they couldn’t sleep.
Life has a way of humbling those who envy without understanding.
The Danger of Wishing Yourself Away 
When you constantly want to be someone else, several things happen within you:
1. You stop recognizing your own gifts.
You spend more time admiring others than discovering yourself.
2. You start performing instead of living.
You become an actor who wants validation.
3. You chase a life designed for someone else.
No one grows properly in borrowed soil.
4. You lose your real voice.
You imitate styles, personality, and purpose.
A lot of people today are exhausted not because life is hard, but because they are trying to run in shoes that don’t belong to them.
Someone once said, “The fastest way to fail is to abandon your own path.”
A Painful Real Example
There was a young Nigerian boy who admired Wizkid so much that he started living like him.
He dropped school because Wizkid became famous without it.
He copied his dressing, his slang, his attitude.
His dream was to “blow” like Starboy.
But here is the truth he didn’t know:
– Wizkid didn’t randomly succeed; he worked for his gift for years before fame.
– Wizkid didn’t abandon responsibility; he studied his craft.
– Wizkid didn’t do it through imitation; he created his sound.
The boy, however, was imitating an image not the discipline behind it.
At 28, he admitted, “I wasted my life chasing someone else’s destiny. I never built mine.”
This is the silent story many people never say aloud. Admiration Is Good But Imitation Kills Growth
It is healthy to admire greatness.
We learn from role models.
We draw inspiration from their journeys.
But when admiration turns into obsession when you feel worthless without the life of another that admiration becomes poison.
God did not make photocopies; He made originals.
Nature does not repeat anything: not fingerprints, not voiceprints, not destinies.
So ask yourself: If you become someone else, who will become you?
The Roots of This Dangerous Desire
Why do people wish to be others?
– Low self-esteem
– Lack of identity
– Childhood comparison (“Look at your cousin doing better than you”)
– Broken homes
– Social media pressure
– Delayed success
– Impatience with growth
When someone believes their life is inferior, they try to replace it.
Many adults are still recovering from childhood statements like: “You are not good enough.”
“Why can’t you be like your brother?”
“Look at what others have achieved!”
These words plant seeds of self-hatred.
But here is the liberating truth:
You Are Not Behind You Are Becoming
People grow like seasons, not machines.
Some flowers bloom in the morning; some at night.
Some people succeed early; some succeed gloriously later.
No one is late in life if they are growing.
Your pace is not your problem comparison is.
A mango tree does not envy an orange tree.
They simply produce what they were made to produce.
Your Path Has Its Own Beauty
The beauty of life is that everyone’s journey is designed differently.
Some people learn through pain.
Some through delay.
Some through mistakes.
Some through opportunities.
Some through slow growth.
Some through fast elevation.
But at the end, no path is useless as long as you become better.
You cannot trade your process for another person’s highlight reel.
A Story of Two Friends
Two friends grew up together.
One became successful early big job, big money.
The slower one envied him quietly.
He tried to copy his friend’s business ideas but failed each time.
He hated gatherings because he felt like “the unsuccessful one.”
Then one day, the fast friend broke down crying, saying,
“I wish I had your peace, your family bond, and your ability to connect with people. I feel alone inside.”
That was the wake-up call.
The one who thought he was behind learned something:
Everyone is good at something but we lose sight of it when we keep looking over the fence.
Life Rewards Authenticity, Not mimicry
Success follows those who stay true to their assignment.
When David faced Goliath, Saul gave him his armor.
David tried it and said, “I cannot fight with what doesn’t fit me.”
Many people today are fighting life with armor that does not fit them career paths they didn’t choose, personalities they borrowed, dreams that belong to others.
Until you discover yourself, you will always feel like life is choking you.
Practical Ways to Break Free From Wanting Another Person’s Life
1. Recognize your uniqueness
Write down what you do naturally well even if it seems small.
2. Stop judging yourself by others’ milestones
Their season is not your season.
3. Learn from people don’t become them
Be inspired, not replaced.
4. Reduce social comparison triggers
If someone’s page makes you feel inferior, mute it.
5. Celebrate your small wins
Water grows a plant neglect kills it.
6. Ask yourself real questions
– What makes me come alive?
– What drains me?
– What values matter to me?
– What life do I truly want?
7. Fail proudly on your own path
A mistake on your path is better than perfection on someone else’s road.
8. Find mentors, not idols
Mentors teach you to become you not to copy them.
True Peace Comes When You Return Home to Yourself
One of the greatest blessings is self-acceptance.
You start to grow when you finally say:
“Enough. My journey matters. My story has meaning. I am becoming who I was made to be.”
Growth begins where comparison ends.
Painful Truth You Must Remember
Some people you idolize are secretly wishing their life was different.
Not every smiling face is living a sweet life.
Not every success story is full of peace.
Life is deeper than what you see.
Let Admiration Become Fuel, Not Identity Theft
Admiration should lead to learning: “What can I pick from their discipline?”
“What principles worked for them?”
“What decisions can I apply in my own context?”
When you admire people this way, you grow instead of becoming lost.
You Cannot Be Someone Else But You Can Be a Better YOU
The day you decide to own your story
your fears, your pace, your talent, your scars
you will start living.
The world does not need another copy.
It needs your voice, your idea, your testimony, your contribution.
Recommended Mentors for Further Learning (Great Authors/Speakers):
These people teach identity, personal growth, and purpose:
✔ Rick Warren – “The Purpose Driven Life”
✔ Myles Munroe – “Understanding Your Potential”
✔ Joyce Meyer – Teachings on self-worth and Christian identity
✔ John Maxwell – Leadership and personal growth
✔ Gary Vaynerchuk – Authenticity and self-awareness
✔ Bishop T.D. Jakes – Finding purpose and inner strength
(Search their websites, YouTube channels, or book titles.)
My Insights/Thought
There will always be people who seem ahead of you.
There will always be people who seem more blessed.
But the truth is you don’t know their fight.
Your life is not less valuable because it looks different.
Walk your path.
Water your seed.
Grow at your pace.
Admire people, but never abandon yourself.
Because the moment you stop wishing to be someone else,
you finally begin the lifelong journey of becoming who you really are.
And that is where fulfillment lives.
