Looking back at the years behind me, there are days I catch myself shaking my head. Not out of regret alone, but out of awareness awareness of how much time I allowed fear, self-doubt, and people’s opinions to control my decisions. There were moments I should have stepped forward boldly, moments I should have believed in myself more than the noise around me. But I didn’t. I kept holding back.
I waited for approval.
I waited for understanding.
I waited for permission that nobody was ever going to give.
And in that waiting, I lost time. I watched opportunities pass me like buses I assumed would come back again. I watched people I once walked with move ahead, not because they were more talented or more brilliant, but because they simply decided to trust themselves. Meanwhile, I stayed stuck not out of inability, but out of fear. Fear of being misunderstood. Fear of disappointing people. Fear of being judged.
Growing up, I always wanted everyone to like me, to agree with my plans, to clap for me before I even took the first step. But life taught me something brutally honest: nobody can carry your destiny with you. People can advise you, warn you, even discourage you, but when the consequences show up good or bad you’ll face them alone. It took years, and a lot of internal battles, for me to finally accept one truth: I don’t need permission from anyone to succeed.
If I fail, it’s my lesson.
If I rise, it’s my reward.
If I move, I’m the one who must live with the results.
Everything changed when I understood this.
I became calmer. I stopped explaining myself to people who didn’t even understand their own path. I stopped announcing every plan. I started acting quietly. I made mistakes, I learned from them, I adjusted, and I kept going. There is a confidence that comes from trusting yourself, a confidence I wish I had known earlier.
When I think of Olodi Apapa the street where many of these realizations began it reminds me of how much environment shapes mindset. That street taught me resilience. It taught me not to depend on anyone to push me forward. It taught me that life doesn’t slow down for anyone who’s still thinking about what people will say. It’s one of the places that hardened my mindset, and in a strange way, it will always hold value in my heart.
If you’re reading this and you’ve been waiting for someone to validate your dreams, waiting for signs, waiting for applause, waiting for someone to tell you “go ahead” stop.
Nobody can dream your dream the way you do. Nobody sees your vision the way you see it. And nobody will feel the pain of wasted years the way you will.
Here’s the truth:
You don’t need permission.
You need courage.
You need clarity.
You need movement.
And if you don’t know where to start, here are practical steps that helped me break free from seeking approval:
1. Stop explaining everything
Not everyone deserves access to your plans. Some people will discourage you simply because your growth threatens their comfort.
Solution: Keep your next move private until it becomes a reality.
2. Learn to make decisions without waiting for a second voice
Even when people support you, they’re still speaking from their own fears and limitations.
Solution: Ask yourself, “Can I live with the outcome?” If the answer is yes, proceed.
3. Do small courageous things daily
Confidence doesn’t come from talking it comes from doing.
Solution: Take one small step every day, even if it’s uncomfortable.
4. Protect your mind from people who always doubt everything
Some people can kill a dream with just one sentence.
Solution: Limit conversations with people who constantly discourage your growth.
5. Accept that mistakes are part of maturity
The fear of making mistakes keeps many people stuck for years.
Solution: Fail fast, learn fast, adjust fast.
6. Build your identity outside people’s opinions
People will always have something to say good or bad.
Solution: Ask yourself, “Who am I when no one is clapping for me?”
Today, as a father, these lessons hit even deeper. I look at my children and tell myself, “They must not repeat this mistake.” I want them to grow up bold, confident, and unafraid to take decisions for themselves. I want them to understand early what took me years to accept that the power to succeed is already inside them.
They don’t need the world’s permission. They don’t need validation. All they need is the courage to trust what God has placed inside them.
Because at the end of the day, you’ll either live by people’s opinions, or you’ll live by your own decisions.
And me? I’ve chosen my own.
And I’m not looking back.
